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Your first letter to an Eastern European womanWe don't know her name, but we want to say thanks! Your first letter is very important, a girl you're writing to will decide if to answer it or not, and there are several things you must reflect in your first letter. I will enlist them. First, there must be general information - your name, age, the place you're living in, your work, your education, some words about your appearance (height and weight, and better in centimeters and kilograms) which hardly can be found on the photo. As I've already mentioned, I'm convinced you should send a photo with your first letter! It was very often, when I didn't respond the letter just because it was without a photo or I gave up correspondence in several letters when I still didn't know what the person looked like. At the same time it won't do to send only a photo with words: "If you like it, write to me". Maybe I don't like your photo, but you have a brilliant soul - show it to me in your introductory letter! Please, don't write hundreds of lines listing the qualities of yours - "I'm serious, reliable, hard-working, kind, calm bla-bla-bla". It's great you can describe yourself in this way, I will understand if it's true during our further correspondence. What I'm more interested in is whether you're suitable for me in terms of your appearance, interests, thoughts about marriage, ideas of an ideal mate etc. The next thing I'd like to emphasize is that your letter should be special! It must be very obvious, but I received many letters with another name in the title or anywhere in the text, letters which can be sent to hundreds of other women. Do you think I will be really interested in communicating with this person? Read the ad of a woman carefully, comment on something she wrote, tell her compliments - women are women and they like to feel special, needed and praised. Make a little research and find out where the town the woman is living in is located. She will be pleasantly surprised and be sure you're really interested in her! Of course, there can be some parts of information the same in all first letters, but be careful! Read your letter from the very beginning before sending it! I feel insulted when receive letters with another women's names and don't answer them. I know what you're thinking now - many Russian girls are sending a form letter in response of the first or second letter she receives. Please, understand - English is not her native language, sometimes it's very difficult for her to write this first letter, or she pays for the translation - you shouldn't be offended by it! When I responded, I tried to make every letter special, answering questions I was asked. But there are few girls who can do the same, just because of their problems with English. Now I'd like to say some more words about the first letter, though some things can be applied to next letters as well It's is really important, as I've already mentioned, to make up a good introduction of yourself. At the same time, I'd like to warn you from sending a very long letter. It was really boring to read such letters, and I hardly read them till the very end. And what about women who pay for translation or read English with dictionaries? You'll have a lot of time if you continue correspondence, to be able to say everything you want. Sometimes I was sent poems - well, I can't say anything about it, probably, some women will think it's very romantic, but frankly speaking, my English is not good enough to understand whether the poem is good or not. Now I'd like to tell you what qualities it's better to emphasize - not only in the first letter: 1. If you're educated and cultured, mention it! I've always answered quickly to men who say they graduated from a university or college, like to go to the museums, exhibitions, theater, not just mentioning it - but being specific, telling, for example, what trend of art or composer is his favorite. But again - don't lie! If you like pop-music and hate Chopin, don't tell you like classical music. 2. I know many people can blame Russian women looking for a husband abroad for being mercenary, ready to marry a person without love, for convenience. I'm convinced it's not true! I agree we all are looking for a better life, but me personally would never be able to live with somebody I don't love! Is it bad that I want to have stability in my life, not struggling every day, to guarantee that my children will have better opportunities than living in Russia? I'm talking about it to say about the next advice - and it's very obvious one: emphasize your stable job and financial security. In the very beginning of correspondence it's very difficult to understand what the person you're corresponding with is like. The things which are as a rule clear are the appearance and financial state of him. That is why try to make the impression of being stable - not lying or exaggerating, but not hiding what you have. For example, don't ever say that you're not rich! I know perfectly well that I'd never find a millionaire through Internet, and there's a great difference between being not rich in the USA and in Russia! It can scare away some girls, who would think you're almost poor. Again, I don't want to say that all girls here are gold-diggers and hunting rich husbands, but as anywhere else, a guy with money will have more chances, and that's our life. At the same time, I always feel insulted when somebody's mentioning the amount of his annual income in the first letter, sending me photos of his big house and expensive car (with a small photo of his own - where he's old or fat). Don't boast, please, it's impolite. And don't try to buy me, I have enough pride and self-respect not to marry a bank account. 3. The next thing is also very obvious - say that you have an excellent health, go in for sport, very active, don't smoke and drink (it can be your greatest advantage, by the way, taking into account the high rate of alcoholism in Russia). If you don't like sport, at least don't mention you can stay in bed the whole day long! 4. I know that a lot of westerners like to travel - mention it! Maybe, it's not necessary to tell about it in detail in the first letter, but in next letters describe your travels, what places and countries you've visited and where you'd like to go with your wife. It's not very often at all when a Russian woman, especially from a small town, can go somewhere abroad, and stories about travels can sound like a fairy-tale for her. I know it myself, that I feel so sorry I haven't seen the world at all, as if I'm living in a prison. 5. I know that Russian women are very afraid of being only a toy, a housemaid or a slave after marrying a foreigner. I know it myself, and when a man mentions he's looking for a partner, an equal - he's a winner! I can see his respect for me, in spite of all this terrible situation, when I have to advertise myself at the "Russian bride market". This word - "respect" is so often forgotten by you! I've read so many statements in the message boards about Russian women, full of contempt and superiority… It's not pleasant at all, and when this attitude, though hidden, reveals itself in the letter from a westerner I receive - believe me, I won't continue the correspondence. 6. The next fear of mine is to be cheated by a foreigner. We here have heard so many stories when girls were invited abroad to work or as a fiancee and were made to work as prostitutes or maids without payment and the possibility to come back home. That is why don't invite a girl to you in your first letter! It won't show your serious attitude to the girl, quite the reverse! She may be scared away. Besides, it's not so easy for me to go abroad - I have to get international passport (it takes 4-8 weeks), then I must arrange all the documents, apply for a visa and it's very often when young single girls are refused from visas at the embassies. That's why I'm sure that it's the foreigner who must come to me, I won't go to a person I don't know well. By the way, if a girl asks if she can go to you in the first letter - it's very probable she's a scammer or just wants to travel without paying for it herself. 7. Mention your family values, your good relations with your family, love for children - any qualities which can prove you'll be a good husband and excellent father. Many of women are divorced, very often they have children, and looking for a foreigner is sometimes the last hope for them to arrange their life, to have a family at last, to find a husband she didn't manage to find in her country. Any romantic things you'll mention will be surprising for Russian women - our men don't like to show their feelings, very often are inattentive - and even mentioning the wish to have a candle-lit dinner together can win a heart of a Russian woman. 8. The next thing is about your language. Please, try to write your letters as clear as possible, without very long sentences and slang words. It will help you to avoid misunderstanding. Please, check spelling of your letters! Some women are using computer programs for translation. Besides, it's not good to show your ignorance. It's very often stressed at Russian dating sites that Russian women are very educated and cultured - it's true. I don't boast, I just would like to make you understand that I can clearly see the mistakes in the letters I receive, and the pronoun "I" or the name of your city written with small letters will not help you to make a good impression on me. I can understand when the mistakes are in the letter of somebody from a European country, but when an American's writing "new york" - I'm shocked. Netiquette is also important - please, don't write letters with all capital letters! Again I'd like to repeat - don't lie! You're looking for your perfect mate, and it doesn't matter if you don't have the qualities I mentioned - I'm sure you'll be able to find your woman!
The best advice I read somewhere in the letter writing tips is BE THE OPTIMIST.
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